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Under a Black Flag

by Eldest 11

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1.
Fluid 01:52
I watched your spirit dissolve. I watched the light leave your eyes. I kept on to my only resolve. (nothings left) When the world eats it's young unhinging jaws.... and I'm left with a fucking gun to lock and load. Is there nothing left for me? (the fluid leaves) Am I tearing up my angel wings? Was it my fault I want to watch them bleed? I'm only doing what they told me.... It's trickery!
2.
Charm 03:36
I gave it all to you without a shove. What did I become? There's a darker side of me. All the blood I spilled. No transparency, so what if I love until it kills? Your open arms, I don't feel anymore! and all your charm gets swept out the back door! (I tried to be there) So sick of the taste (with all my armor tore) you leave. I was there when nobody cared. (I tried to be there) So sound your alarm, go cry.... because you (you can't harm) you've lost your charm.... Don't ever listen to what they say! Don't ever put your heart on display! Keep half of yourself for your own and give them all, just a little to string them along! Your open arms, I don't feel anymore! and all your charm gets swept out the back door! (I tried to be there) So sick of the taste (with all my armor tore) you leave. I was there when nobody cared. (I tried to be there) So sound your alarm, go cry.... because you (you can't harm) you've lost your charm.... You mean nothing at all... YOU'VE LOST YOUR CHARM! You're nothing! (You're nothing at all) (I tried to be there) So sick of the taste (with all my armor tore) you leave. I was there when nobody cared. (I tried to be there) So sound your alarm, go cry.... because you (you can't harm) you've lost your charm....
3.
Buried 04:12
You forgave the jealousies that breed in me. but your cold and silent like the violent venom in my veins. It tells me what to do when it's too late. Love is meaningless more and more... In the end, good guys suck and fall... but everybody just blames me. Just bury me...(and throw away the key) Put the shovel in the dirt until the walls collapse and surround me... (Don't medicate me) Cause I'm not the as I was before (with your novice surgery).... and either way I can't live in your world when God's forsaken me.... Am I to be evil? and not feel anything? I'll put your heart on a string (but we're worlds apart) and make you feel what you did to me. and drag it around on the dirt until it bleeds! You keep telling me I'm better off dead. I keep fighting the Red! In the end, good guys suck and fall... but everybody just blames me. and in the end, nothing last forever... (Collapses walls with Novocain and Alcohol) (Just kill me and bury me) Just bury me...(and throw away the key) Put the shovel in the dirt until the walls collapse and surround me... (Don't medicate me) Cause I'm not the as I was before (with your novice surgery).... and either way I can't live in your world when God's forsaken me.... Maybe it's me I can't conform.... Twisted in a violent storm.... Mama said I'm not like others because I take the pain, because I take the pain! Just bury me...(and throw away the key) Put the shovel in the dirt until the walls collapse and surround me... (Don't medicate me) Cause I'm not the as I was before (with your novice surgery).... and either way I can't live in your world when God's forsaken me....
4.
There's a burning in my eyes from the cold and sweat that kept me up tonight. How do I fake this now? You can see all the doubt that resonates in me. It's ok, I know it hurts sometimes but I need this to motivate me to push through. It's ok, I know it hurts sometimes but I need this to make me to push through. This is the nightmare I coming from! A wasted dream! How long was I gone! This is the nightmare I coming from! A wasted dream! How long was I gone! How long was I out this last time around? I don't remember a damn thing but hitting the ground so hard. She grabbed me, but I'm spreading shoulders so far apart. I felt my body breaking, It's ok, I know it hurts sometimes but I need this to motivate me to push through. It's ok, I know it hurts sometimes but I need this to make me to push through. This is the nightmare I coming from! A wasted dream! How long was I gone! This is the nightmare I coming from! A wasted dream! How long was I gone! How can you tell me everything's going to be ok when you're not here with me. How can you tell me everything's just a figment of my imagination! How can you tell me everything's going to be ok when you're not here with me in this dream. How can you tell me everything's going to be better in the morning, in the morning..... How can you tell me everything's just a figment of my imagination! How can you tell me everything's going to be ok when you're not here with me in this dream. This is the nightmare I coming from! A wasted dream! How long was I gone! This is the nightmare I coming from! A wasted dream! How long was I gone! It's ok, I know it hurts sometimes but I need this to motivate me to push through. It's ok, I know it hurts sometimes but I need this to make me to push through.
5.
Bittersweet 04:56
It was not my fault they flew away, and I'm left here to sway alone.... Right there, I'm so empty inside.... I'll try to compensate to bring myself a lie... They only want to use you, so step outside you skin! They only want to use you, it's not safe by them! You say stay happy but it's kind of hard... When life seems to get in the way of.... and hope, she drains out of my fingers in the rain. and I can't stay but I miss you! They only want to use you, so step outside you skin! They only want to use you, it's not safe by them! So much time trying to make it right, make it strong, make it hard, dope it up, stick it in, make it strong. and I would give almost anything to be enough.... So much time trying to make it right, make it strong, make it hard, dope it up, stick it in, make it strong. and I would give almost anything to be enough....For you.... (Dammit all!) You will fall! and I promise you... It's ok to cry! It's ok to feel so lonely inside! You will fall! and I promise you... It's ok to feel so messed up, it's ok that you always feel so used! (It's not a threat) You will fall (It's a promise)! and I promise you... With the deepest sincerity I know when there's not another word to say.... You will fall (I am a threat)! and I promise you... It's because of the people like you I love, so hard, so true, and so real..... And somewhere.... We move in through separate hemispheres. And Somehow.... We collide in 2s, we connect. And over and over again..... The force of you breaks me in pieces. You'll remember my name.... When you're done with me....
6.
Machine 04:20
Do you acknowledge that I am still standing here? Good luck to you in heaven even though I may never see you there. At the ground zero where the anger is protein for my machine, where do I go? Flexing the neck protected that tender spot, the one no one contacts.... You saw stars and soft pedaled that animosity while you burst into the atmosphere. It's so terribly sweet but not for me. I'm not withstanding my convictions, I hold my throat. It's do or die, there are risk involved in everything that we try. (Say a prayer) but fuck it all.... I'll draw a heavy black line through the words you and I. Flexing the neck protected that tender spot, the one no one contacts.... You saw stars and soft pedaled that animosity while you burst into the atmosphere. It's so terribly sweet but not for me. I was pushed into the womb and you don't know but star pricked through. Showing a deep well of blue, I thought so high of you, and now where are you? I was pushed into the womb and you don't know but star pricked through. Showing a deep well of blue, I thought so high of you, and now where are you? I watch you change but now your far away. It's not my fault, I couldn't stay, you're everything I wanted to stick my teeth into. So just let me. I'm not the same, I'm always changing, growing but you stayed the same....
7.
Needed More 03:57
Did you think that the pressures would overwhelm? Did you think that you'd always smile in there? Did you know that it was never why you liked it? and I don't love you, you were fake! A miscarriage of the things that you take for granted! and I'm burning bridges in-between. I hope you hear this so I'll say this before I leave! Did you think that the pressures would overwhelm? Did you think that you'd always smile in there? Did you know that it was never why you liked it? and I don't love you, you were fake! I needed more! but I'm so cold inside...When you're taking pills because you're weak. I needed more! but I'm so cold inside...When you're drinking alcohol because you can't sleep. I WANTED MORE! but I'm so cold inside...When you're snorting blow up your nose thinking it's ok! Thinking you're ok? Did you know it's been raining too long for me to cope? You never were there... and now you're calling me callous for all the stupid afflictions that keep infecting your life! Did you think that the pressures would overwhelm? Did you think that you'd always smile in there? Did you know that it was never why you liked it? and I don't love you, you were fake! I needed more! but I'm so cold inside...When you're taking pills because you're weak. I needed more! but I'm so cold inside...When you're drinking alcohol because you can't sleep. I WANTED MORE! but I'm so cold inside...When you're snorting blow up your nose thinking it's ok! What did you want from me? Did you want me to care?
8.
Oceans 03:28
I'm so full of empty. I've spent my whole life confused. Looking for love in the wrong places. (I've made mistakes in the past) So many faces and all the traces.... (I don't want to wake up) If oceans can lie, sing me a lullaby! Tell me I'll be alright when I drown. If oceans can lie, sing me a lullaby! Tell me I'll be alright when I drown. And the sky is black! (like everything I feel) With the holes punched in. And she comes in.... But I'm not special. I've been kicked down, knocked out and taken out! (I've made mistakes in the past) So many faces and all the traces.... (I don't have the strength to get up) If oceans can lie, sing me a lullaby! Tell me I'll be alright when I drown. If oceans can lie, sing me a lullaby! Tell me I'll be alright when I drown. So I'll play the sacrifice. Are you real? I wanted more from you! This whole system is a whore. So you prey on the weak? The ones getting back on their feet? It's bittersweet, one day we'll become obsolete. If oceans can lie, sing me a lullaby! Tell me I'll be alright when I drown. If oceans can lie, sing me a lullaby! Tell me I'll be alright when I drown. Lie to me, lie to me, lie to me (act like you care!) Cause when I drown...You better tread in safer waters! When I drown I don't want to be found (be a rebound). Don't save me when I drown, when I drown!
9.
I love the metal in your makeup. You're on fire... and so coked up from that bomb dust. We're dislocated at the joint. and I love how you've got the blood in hair. The miscommunications setup to give the blame away. And most of the time I'm such an easy guy. With the bombs falling through the fucking sky. but I let go of what we use to be (when you're gone) because I don't care. And I was never nice pulling the wings off of flies in my Atlanta hotel. And they gave me Alcohol and Demerol. And tied on those pretty pink ribbons that make me feel like a star. Gotta love the battle scars! (We're dislocated at the joint) The miscommunications setup to give the blame away. And most of the time I'm such an easy guy. With the bombs falling through the fucking sky. but I let go of what we use to be (when you're gone) because I don't care. (We're Shapeshifters!) And I burn inside! (Spreading wings) Some things never change. (I'm not like you drone) I keep pushing you further away! And I burn inside! (Spreading wings) Some things never change. (I'm not like you drone) I keep pushing you further away! And most of the time I'm such an easy guy. With the bombs falling through the fucking sky. but I let go of what we use to be (when you're gone) because I don't care. and I burn inside..... and most of the time I'm such an easy guy with the bombs falling through the fucking sky. (but I let go) (We're Shapeshifters!) And I burn inside! (Spreading wings) Some things never change. (I'm not like you drone) I keep pushing you further away! And I burn inside! (Spreading wings) Some things never change. (I'm not like you drone) I keep pushing you further away!
10.
For some reason you don't know what to say... and sometimes you lie your way through. Pushing back! Showing it all! As you make your downfall. Can you feel why I'm numb inside? Can you see the pain rising through my eyes buried inside? Can you see the things I've seen? Can you hold the memories that burn inside of me? I'm dying inside! I've been losing hope all my life. How can you help inside, when you've got nothing to hide? (No Faces!) I dying inside! I don't want to hide, I don't want to die! (The stitches loosen inside!) Crushing you, crushing me, the falls inside.... As a child, I was locked away in my mind... Where pieces fell from you. Now every time I turn around you see an empty face! Can you feel why I'm numb inside? Can you see the pain rising through my eyes buried inside? Can you see the things I've seen? Can you hold the memories that burn inside of me? I'm dying inside! I've been losing hope all my life. How can you help inside, when you've got nothing to hide? (No Faces!) I dying inside! I don't want to hide, I don't want to die! (The stitches loosen inside!) Crushing you, crushing me, the falls inside.... Give me something to believe... because the pages are blank in me.... Where the zombies go, the ones that don't have any feeling at all! Just take it slow! (an empty face!)
11.
I was born in blood underneath a full moon. and I tried to love the God you put in my face but it was just a wound. You said, "Listen to what he said underneath the cross he bared!" but I'm no fool, there's always 2. Light and dark...and both leave a mark! I'm not good! I don't claim to be bad but sometimes it gets the best of me. My eyes shine. The end of brilliance in a pale beauty! I was born under a black flag! Washed ashore, where the soul passed. There ain't no coming back..... Memories flood. Dead ancient lovers that can't ever love again. I'll meet you half way across the bedroom and slide my hand on the cross. Don't say a word as we watch the "Light" thin on the walls. Where it's so cold. Watch the breath as you move it'll make you whole. At least there's some feeling at all when they come. It's all I ever want. I'm not good! I don't claim to be bad but sometimes it gets the best of me. My eyes shine. The end of brilliance in a pale beauty! I was born under a black flag! Washed ashore, where the soul passed. There ain't no coming back..... There ain't no coming back..... Listen to what he said underneath the cross he bared! I was born under a black flag! Washed ashore, where the soul passed. There ain't no coming back.....

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released February 10, 2014

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Eldest 11 Raleigh, North Carolina

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